Groggy, half buzzed your words begin to
seep in
I can’t breathe; get tense what to say
back where to begin
My hands shake, knees quake, my heart
breaks in two
Noise grows dim, I need to leave I don’t
know what else to do
I can’t believe this is happening to me
why here and now
I’m so confused, so sad so blue; got to
pull it together somehow
I say goodbye and walk away, seems I do
that best
It makes me feel in control, a bad way
to clean up my mess
Thoughts running wild breathe deep;
don’t do this here
I barely seem to make it to the car
before the falling of my tears
Sadness, despair, broken, and lost no
matter the words you find
It will never come close or even begin to
describing this heartache of mine
Physically and emotionally the light in
my soul was blown out
Your words so true and full of love,
even if meaning them you do not
You want to see me be the person that
first you fell for
As hard as it was for you to do, you had
to close the door
Your words play over and over in my head
on what seemed a long drive home
I just couldn’t stop my tears, they kept
falling I’ve never felt so alone
Hurting me was not the intentions you
had
It’s my fault for letting me be in this
place and become sad
It’s hard to let go of something that
makes you happy
But as unfortunate as it is, it’s the
way it has to be
As I sit here I contemplate my choices
from that day
You would think the decision would be
hard either way
It’s not easy but the choice that is
made
Is the one that will break my heart more
and more each day
Whether the words were truly yours, or
just said to make it right
Time will stand still with the memory
from that night
I can’t help but find myself feeling sad
about trying to make wrong right
No matter where I look I have your
piercing eyes in my sight
Though everyone saw the wrong in our
actions
It took you telling me to make it real;
I was a series of distractions
No matter how wrong I was for feeling as
I do
I will always have a special place
inside my heart for you
Why does this life have to be so cruel
Why do I have to lose this battle
Some view it as a win, for the current
situation I still am in
But in the war of my heart, mind and
soul; that battle I did not win
I’m sorry for leading you to this
position like I do
The one thing you will never know is
truly how much I love you
April Lammons
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